He's going through something incredibly difficult. It is somehow making me love him more. Is it just because I feel needed???? or is it that this incredibly difficult thing is breaking down barriers? why is loving someone so hard to figure out? It should be the simplest thing in the world.
I'm a mess of emotions lately. not really something I am comfortable with. trying to be there for him and disappointed in myself as I realize most of what I am feeling is ultimately selfish. spent yesterday in the depths of despair, feeling as though he didn't need or want my help. now that he does, feeling obtusely worried about whether I will really be able to give it in the right spirit.
despite the incredibly difficult thing, spent much of last week obsessing over a random comment made by a random person that maybe possibly insinuated that I am right to feel suspicious about his Overly Interested Friend Who Is A Girl. The one who never invites me to her parties and fails to recognize me (at least in any way obvious to me) as his girlfriend. received a somewhat cold inquiry from this OIFWIAG about the incredibly difficult thing. An inquiry that tried its best not to acknowledge that I might know more about the incredibly difficult thing than she did. I feel this is portentous (which I think means of significance?) but at the same time is probably something that should not be brought up. but still can tell that this situation (this situation referring, I suppose, really just to his relationship with the OIFWIAG) is likely to blow up as soon as the incredibly difficult thing has been given enough time. which makes me like myself less - I should be someone who can let this go. but I'm not convinced that I am.
I'm a mess of emotions lately. not really something I am comfortable with. trying to be there for him and disappointed in myself as I realize most of what I am feeling is ultimately selfish. spent yesterday in the depths of despair, feeling as though he didn't need or want my help. now that he does, feeling obtusely worried about whether I will really be able to give it in the right spirit.
despite the incredibly difficult thing, spent much of last week obsessing over a random comment made by a random person that maybe possibly insinuated that I am right to feel suspicious about his Overly Interested Friend Who Is A Girl. The one who never invites me to her parties and fails to recognize me (at least in any way obvious to me) as his girlfriend. received a somewhat cold inquiry from this OIFWIAG about the incredibly difficult thing. An inquiry that tried its best not to acknowledge that I might know more about the incredibly difficult thing than she did. I feel this is portentous (which I think means of significance?) but at the same time is probably something that should not be brought up. but still can tell that this situation (this situation referring, I suppose, really just to his relationship with the OIFWIAG) is likely to blow up as soon as the incredibly difficult thing has been given enough time. which makes me like myself less - I should be someone who can let this go. but I'm not convinced that I am.
posted by Neurotica at 8:51 PM
2 Comments:
I understand that you are going through a difficult time, Neurotica. So, I offer a small break from that. I assume that you grew up watching The Muppets on "Sesame Street", as millions of us did. Well, Jim Henson grew up in the Maryland suburbs outside Washington, D.C. in the 1950s and 1960s. He and his wife used puppets in several television commercials in the Washington area.
One very popular series of commercials were for a local company named Wilkins Coffee. There were two puppets named "Wilkins" and "Wontkins". "Wilkins" was a forerunner of "Kermit the Frog" on The Muppets. These commercials were broadcast a few years prior to Sesame Street. Well, Wontkins did not drink Wilkins coffee, so bad things happened to him in the commercials.
You may find several of the coffee commercials in Youtube or google, if you enter "Wilkins Coffee". They are very funny and ingenious ads. Moreover, they were produced before the wide use of computers and graphics. I hope that you have a good holiday!--B.
Good Girl/Same Girl/Neurotica,
(Yes, I'm a *long-time* lurker/reader and fan.)
It's so good to see your blog back up and running again. Missed ya.
Best Wishes!
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